* A Rant*
You would think that if you were paying OVER HALF YOUR WAGE IN RENT that the plumbing in the place you’re renting would be in tip-top shape, wouldn’t you?
Errr not necessarily. I live in a ‘beautiful dump’ an older style home that comes complete with an OUTSIDE DUNNY. I’ve been here about 2 1/2 years and in that time I’ve had to send off ‘poo floating’ emails to my real estate to inform them that yup, I did it again. The conker that just won’t flush.
When I first moved in, the drain for the kitchen sink wouldn’t drain. It left a foul smelling puddle outside the kitchen door that would get greasy, slippery and stank, rank as all fuck. Having a shower meant standing up to my shins in a fetid pool of soap scum and balls of hair.
It gets embarrassing continually emailing your real estate to ask them for the bloody plumber (again). I’ve probably sent 20 or so emails in the time I’ve been here. I used to send carefully crafted and witty missives, carefully detailing the exact nature of the issue, but now, it’s gotten to the point where I head straight to my ‘sent’ folder, scroll to grumpy face in the subject line 😦 and re-send.
Now, It’s just the dunny. The dunny that just won’t flush. The dunny that fills with water, swirling the content of the bowl to the brim. The dunny of doom. Did you know that when you can’t flush shit, the toilet water turns brown, the shit breaks into pieces, and stains the entire bowl with the contents of your bowels? I just hope I’m not here when the plumber comes ‘cause, he’s kinda cute and I hope he gets here soon ‘cause I’m really, really busting.
*Motification Alert* Plumber arrived as I was hanging clothes on the washing line (they enter through the back gate). I was tempted to bolt before he witnessed my remnants, but stood my ground. I asked him if he needed me to do anything and he replied "I think you’ve done enough"*.
*Ha Ha, No he didn’t. he said, "Nah it’s fine".