Hard to pick a particular point of awesomeness from this post, but I’ll give it a burl…
Guys will feel REALLY BAD when they get called out, and usually react by either getting really loud and angry and defensive, or really sad and quiet and weird. This might make you feel bad or like a bully but don’t. Some conversations are uncomfortable but also necessary. They are so uncomfortable because they are so necessary. Discomfort is not death. You will be fine after, I promise. And then you will feel fucking great, because trying to protect other people from reality is for morons and chumps.
but honestly? just go read it now, ‘cause it’s ALL killer.
Additionally, the person who would be teaching him how to have healthy interactions, and correcting him when he acts incorrectly, and enforcing boundaries while he learns them, and keeping him convinced that this is a worthwhile goal and he shouldn’t abandon it and go back to treating you like before, is you. And that would be a significant emotional burden on you and place demands on your time and energy; it would at times inspire him to resent you, thus undermining his acceptance of the concept that you are worth going to the effort of treating you fairly; it might at other times push you into dispensing affection as a reward or a carrot-on-a-stick, and his claiming the identity (different from the reality) of someone who wants to change and make the relationship work might give him a new way to manipulate you into staying and putting up with whatever crap he can put on you in the context of that relationship dynamic.
I think I’ll have a little moar to say on that later but the whole comment is so beautifully truthful, sad and somehow inspiring that you should go and check it out.
So how do we do that? It can be tricky knowing where to start because some people like to pretend that there are many different schools of feminist thought and activism, and that feminists can actually be quite reasonable individuals. Sadly, this is a lie. Most people know there’s only one homogenous brand of feminism, and that’s the ball breaking, ugly kind. In many respects, this makes your task easier because you have a much more one dimensional blueprint with which to work.
Clementine Ford outlines how to be a Real Feminist.